Long White Coat Envy
I think it happens to all medical students. When we start, we are so excited to be a part of things, so happy and grateful just to be present in the health care world, we don’t care at all that we are the lowest of the low in the hospital. We’re happy to do the most menial of scut work because, to us, we are helping in the care of the patient. And it is not that we were wrong, it’s just that we didn’t really understand just how far we had to go.
But now, at least for me, things are different. Everything changed when I came down with a particular kind of problem: Long White Coat Envy.
I had a similar condition once. It was the Third Year Envy or, more specifically, the People Who Had Already Passed Step 1 Envy. Studying in the medical library, I would gaze longingly at their copies of First Aid for the Wards and sneak peeks at them as if they were the most brilliant and talented bunch and I was not worthy to be in their presence. Being on the other side of that, I know that crossing that particular hurdle has nothing to do with brilliance or ability, unless you count the ability to cram for four weeks straight as a special talent. It’s mostly about being too stubborn to drop out of school.
My current affliction plagues me daily. The interns look like royalty to me, what with their deep coat pockets and important sounding pagers. The residents might as well be gods. They seem both omnipotent and omniscient, knowing everything about every patient and swooping in just in time to see me mess something up. And the staff… well, let’s just say that I have done a little bit of worshipping in my time.
Truthfully, I hate wearing white coats, but there is nothing more that I want than to be a part of the Long White Coat Club. That coat denotes an important difference between the student/learner/observer/me and the real doctor/them. The difference is not just in graduating and earning a degree in medicine, but it is a public acceptance into the professional medical community. This is a future physician’s biggest and most career-defining moment, a culmination of everything accomplished or failed to achieve to date. This is the time where emotionally powerful music should be playing in the background at all times to emphasize the gravity of the situation.
In order to do such a seemingly impossible thing as join the ranks of a residency program, I and the other fourth year medical students have to go through the infamous process that we all know and loathe: THE MATCH.
— Reblogged from Katie McHugh